Thursday, November 13, 2008

I just got back home from the Alyn Wheels of Love Bike Ride. In a nutshell--an large number of body parts hurt, and in particular those parts that took the blow when I slammed face and chest down, on top of my bicycle, after wiping out on some rocks. If you will allow me to share some of my new-found and hard-earned wisdom, trying to brake while riding really fast, downhill and over loose rocks and gravel is not a good idea. Having a good helmet, on the other hand, is an excellent idea; I am quite grateful for mine.

I will post more about the Ride but for now, one question.

Suppose you are pulling into Alyn after a grueling five day ride which was made even more grueling because you (ahem) barely trained all summer. And suppose that you are exhausted and sore and filthy and your digestive system is kind of acting up a bit after five days of gatorade, bananas and granola bars. And suppose that you are also really, really cranky because thanks to the rain, instead of doing a fun, off-road route to Jerusalem, you ending up having to do the On-Road-Ascent-To-Jerusalem-From-Hell (approximately 5000 kilometers, all of them uphill) followed up to the Death-Defying-Approach-to-Alyn-Through-Jerusalem-Traffic (also 5000 kilometers, and also all uphill). Okay? So imagine, that you are in this state of mind and you finally, FINALLY, get to the godforsaken end and are just straggling in with your bike, with your only goals in life being a hot shower and your bed and maybe taking your bicycle outside and smashing it with a large rock so you will never be tempted to ride again.

And then some lunatic dressed in some white cotton Purim costume blows an enormous shofar at you. And that sucker is really f**king loud.

If you then grab the shofar, and use it to whop this joker upside the head, is that considered a crime? Or would the items I noted above be considered adequate mitigating circumstances?

Right--I have achieved the shower already. Now: bed!

(For those of you concerned, my bike is still safe and sound at Alyn. I think I will leave it there for a few days, until I like it again.)


Baila said...

Congratulations, Gila. You are amazing.

As far as your question: No jury in the world would convict.

tnspr569 said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

One of THOSE days times a million, huh?

Risa said...

It sounds like we got our money's worth. Hope you feel better soon. You should be happy that your candidate won the election in Jerusalem. Have you moved yet?
Shabbat Shalom!

Jacob Da Jew said...


Gila said...

Baila--yes, that is what I thought--I just wanted to confirm.

Tnspr--it was not one of my better biking days.

Risa--YAY BARKAT!!!!!!!!! I was listening to the J'lem radio station while driving home last night and the DJ commented on the new energy in the city. It seems as though I am not alone in my excitement. I will be starting to look for an apartment now. And thanks for sponsoring me! And please remember to hit me up when you are shnorring for your favorite cause. This is one type of favor I really like to return--everyone wins.

Jacob da Jew--the "wow" people are more the ones who trained adequately (like my Alyn Posse person, Mandy) but thanks!

Anonymous said...

I think that a whop upside the head would be getting off lightly. I'd be more inclined to take that shofar and sho... wait. Is this a family site? I'd better not say what I'd do... ;-)

Congrats on completing the Ride!

Asher said...

well done, girl!

let's keep those wheels rollin' (after a bit of recuperation of course). Marathon runners (also retired ons, sob!) know that active recovery is the best sort

aliyah06 said...

I think you should have simply run over him--then gone, "oops" and explained how you just couldn't stop in time {grin}.

But I think baila is right--no jury in the world would convict, but unfortunately, we don't have juries here. Go with "it was an accident."

my chariot wheels said...

i agree the shofar blowing was very corny. i don't really know who goes for that type of shmalz.
i just completed the challenge route. because of the flash floods we got jipped out of about 50 km's on the last day. the rain though was a nice welcome however i could do without all the ceremony
and remember if / when train properly almost nothing aches. on the other hand you have to ride something like 5000 km's a year. i ride about 9000, just to be safe.

Gila said...


Asher--will probably start up again next week. I will be picking my bike up at Alyn and will use it as transportation in my apartment search. Not off-road, but seeing that it is Jlem, lots of hills. For now, am going to be sticking to race-walking until whatever I managed to break or screw up in my chest fixes itself.

Aliyah06-...or temporary insanity

Chariots-I pretty much came to the same conclusion. Part of the problem is that when I signed up for the ride, I did not forsee starting a new job which sucked up a huge amount of time AND I really did not do much riding over the course of the year. Next year, I will really sit down and ask myself how much time I have been putting in on the bike and how much time I have to put in before signing up. I can always do a couple of my standard fund-raisers and just sponsor another rider.

I mean, this ride is also my vacation. I want to enjoy it!

Rafi G said...

congrats Gila. I have wanted to bike Alyn for a few years now, but I am not much of a biker. maybe next year. This year I decided to run a marathon...

Maryam in Marrakesh said...

I am simply exhausted at the very thought of the hundreds of kms but totally impressed and am thinking I had best get my flabby ass in gear asap.

Now I have no idea what a shofar is. However, I am totally on your side and so do not think the aforementioned bludgeoning could really get you in trouble. And lucky for you, in case I am wrong, I am a most excellent character witness:)

Child Ish Behavior said...

Sounds positively grueling.

Asher said...


If you want to know about shofar, I'd suggest a read of
HHope this will elucidate.


Asher said...

let's try that again, and I wish Iknew how to link in comments

Asher said...

I seem to be havong problems with the link, as it's rather long, so just go to and search them, enjoy!

Batya said...

You're amazing. And I've been kvetching about the stairs at Nebi Samuel. OK, I'm older than you.

Maus said...

Asher you should call the Ghostbusters, it is impossible to write a nasty comment to your final posting.