Sunday, January 25, 2009

Roxie the Diet does not like weekends. That is because every weekend, I neglect her, eat whatever I see (and at Shabbat meals, one sees plenty), and proceed to gain back 2/3 of what I lost during the week. Then I bitch and moan and whine all week because I have to go through the sugar withdrawal process all over again. If Roxie had her way, there would be no weekends EVER.

But, alas, G-d has mandated differently and G-d trumps Roxie and the weekend happened as scheduled this week. As it happens, this weekend was particularly difficult. In the immortal words of Monty Python, Roxie is not dead yet, but a simple whack or two with a stick could put her out of her misery (and me out of mine--diet misery, that is). But I do not want Roxie to die. I need Roxie to thrive! I want Roxie to hit that glorious goal of 20 kilo so that I will be svelte and French-looking and can be pimped out by friends and co-workers! To that end, I got up early this morning, put on my jogging shoes and went for a run.

Can I tell you something? You know, without any doubt, that you are fat, when your JAW hurts when you go jogging because your double chins are bouncing around so much.

My G-d. I need a sports bra for my face.

8 comments:

Katherine said...

you;re a complete banana. I also went for a walk. aren't we just impressive. also took vast quantities of veggies to work (chopped up this morning!). roxie isn't dead, she just needed a little 2 day break. back on the wagon!

Gila said...

I got the veggies--chopped up last night! And I am eating the lettuce you gave me right this minute (on my egg-salad-made-with-lite-mayo sandwich).

TalTalK said...

Ynet has an article today saying how bad it is to work out for more than hour. Which sucks since my shortest day of class is 1.5 hours (all ballet classes are 1.5 hours long...) But good luck with Roxie!

e.e. said...

Hey TalTalk, if it's any consolation, yoga and Krav Maga classes are also 1.5 hours each.

TalTalK said...

e.e. - Haha. No consolation needed. I usually do 2 classes in a row anyway (=3 hours of dancing). I can't bring myself to go to a yoga class, even though it's supposed to be amazing (and we have them at my studio).

Baila said...

All this talk about Yoga and dance and krav maga and Roxie makes me want a Twix bar.

M said...

Gast:"A Kalbstbrust."
Kellner:"Mit Salat?"
Gast:"No na, mit B├╝stenhalter!"

Stephanie in Idaho said...

If I were so creative I would have named my diet too... But I didn't so I laugh out loud every time you say 'her' name.

I SHOULD adopt Roxie, but I won't... Especially can't until after the Superbowl. But maybe then (?) nah.