Saturday, April 18, 2009

Two Random Bits

One

I, probably like many of you, have watched Susan Boyle's performance on Youtube multiple times. Now, I have only one question. It is a rather mean and snarky question, but seeing how it has been tormenting my brain the past several nights, I feel that I have no choice but to share. As follows:

What the fuck is up with Simon Cowell's teeth? Am I the only one who find them to be a bit scary? Are they for real? Does he take them out at night? Does he paint them with white, Day-Glo paint before he goes out in the morning?

Thank G-d that this is off my chest! I feel so much better!

Two

Conversation with Ellie, in which she tries to convince me to give online dating another shot. At this point, the closest I get is signing up on sites and then ignoring them, on the basis that I hate blind dating--to the extent that even thinking about it makes my stomach hurt. Even I have to admit that this is not the most effective method.

Ellie: It is not going to happen unless you try.

Me: I have tried—everything. Nothing happened. No one was interested in me.

Ellie: But that was before. You have the blog now. I keep telling you—it has put you in another place. (ed: I can confirm that she keeps telling me this. But then, she also insists that she had no idea I was funny until she started reading my blog.)

Me: I am the same person I was before!

Ellie: Okay, so maybe you had inner self-confidence, but ever since you started the blog, you have outer self-confidence. That is sexy. Think of it like…sexy underwear.

Me: My blog as sexy underwear. Very creative!

Ellie: Feel free to post it!

8 comments:

Asher said...

we were in a hotel room near Heathrow with a baby and happened upon "Britain's got Talent" and were knocked out...

As for the teeth, he probably has a UV lamp under his desk...

Hadas L. said...

It's called veneers, it's quite a popular plastic surgery in Hollywood.

Stesha said...

His teeth are punishment for his attitude:)

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Holly said...

You are so consistent about not using the name of G-d in vain. (Clearly you have standards regarding word choice!) So why diminish your wonderful creative voice with such overuse of the *F* word?

Gila said...

Use of the "f" word IS part of my creative voice. :)

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Day-Glo paint will be my guess too.

Er... no opinion on the second one, all my dating was over before the Internets...

Asher said...

Tanya Gold in the Guardian wrote about: "Simon Cowell, now buffed to the sheen of an ornamental pebble, asked this strange creature, this alien, how old she was. "I'm nearly 47," she said. Simon rolled his eyes until they threatened to roll out of his head, down the aisle and out into street."
Read the whole article at
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/apr/16/britains-got-talent-susan-boyle

As for the second part, I don't know about the undies, but will this be the year that we get to see Gila in a wet-suit??

Asher said...
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