Friday, May 1, 2009

I do not know if you have picked up on this from my posts, but I have been rather down on myself recently. There are just so many things that I want to do, that I mean to do or that I NEED to do…and yet, somehow, I never actually do. It makes it very frustrating to live with myself. I spend a fair amount of my time lecturing myself on the evils of procrastination. Sadly—predictably—I never listen. My parents appear to have been on to something, when they claimed that talking to me is like talking to a wall.

But lest I paint too bleak a picture (which is a sure way incur the wrath of certain of my friends) I should point out that a few weeks ago, after meaning to go for like, a year, I finally went to Safranit's stitch and bitch meeting. It was a lot of fun and I made good progress on a project I am working on—a blanket for my friend's baby. Not only did I add a few inches to it, but Safranit helpfully pointed out that if I stopped referring to it as a baby blanket and instead called it a lap rug (for covering up Baby in the stroller) I could just wrap the damn thing up right now and move on with my life. SCORE! This is all very good, and my joy is only slightly marred by the fact that said Baby has grown since I started this project. Not only is he no longer using a stroller, but he is about to start college. No matter! I am sure that the lap rug will be a big hit in the dorm. He and his roommates can use it to cover the bong.

Alas, this breakthrough aside, things have been feeling rather stalled around here and the self-frustration levels have risen to truly desperate levels. I have begged and pleaded with myself. I have promised treats—new kitchen toys or an MP3 player. I have threatened all sorts of punishments—loss of internet privileges, grounding or never ever dating again because I am overweight, and as my mother told me fifty zillion times, no one gets a boyfriend if they are overweight. All of this has been to no avail. My Self just laughs, gives me the finger and goes on doing what it pleases—that being normally comprised of such constructive activities as eating mounds of Pringles and Magnum Desire ice cream bars and surfing the net for information on the life of Laura Ingalls Wilder and "what ever happened to Karen", the little girl with CP that I read about when I was in grade school. Critical shit like that.

Sigh…..

6 comments:

Emah S said...

omg!I was just reading this thinking, yeah, yeah, yeah, I GET IT, I feel it, I identify completely. Wasn't going to reply, cuz really, I have no advice, but you're not alone.

....and then I read your second to last sentence and just HAD to reply!!! I READ THAT BOOK about Karen too....so....did you find out anything about her?

kayla said...

Are you going to tell your faithful readers that "little miss do nothing" ran a 5K this morning in under 40 minutes?--K

Soccer Dad said...

I agree that I need to do something about my procrastination.

Tomorrow.

Mo-ha-med said...

First realising that the post had no title, i though 'uh-oh..'

I can assure you though, I know what you mean! A couple of years back my then-exasperated girlfriend (then-girlfriend, rather) offered me a book about time-management.

Needless to say, I never had the time to read it. :)

I have been telling myself that the trick is about turning big goals into small, manageable chunks.

And to regularly spend time around people who know you well and like you anyway.

Jewel said...

Perhaps you need a subscription to "Vicarious Living" magazine;)

Commenter Abbi said...

since I work on the internet, i have often found myself surfing to find "critical info" like the Galloping Gertie video on YouTube and whatever happened to that cute boy i had a crush on in 5th grade.

:D

I've been struggling with weight too but what I've found really helpful is joining a weight watchers type group. There's a great one at Beit Hanoar run by this woman Michal Petel. She's very inspiring and a lot of fun (I think Purple Parrot also went to her, you can ask her for a rec). It might intimidate your "Self" if it knew you'll be weighed every week.