Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Hello? Are you a Bookkeeper?

Are you a bookkeeper? Yes? Good. This is for you. You know when you call me up? Because according to your books we owe you money? Or at least you think we owe you money? Because the last two times you called, it turned out we did not owe you money--you had not properly applied the payment? And according to our books, we do not owe you any money? But anyway, this time, you are pretty sure we owe you money?

You recognize the situation, yes?

Anyway.... when said situation occurs, I beg of you, I PLEAD of you....make sure you have the relevant invoice numbers ready BEFORE YOU CALL. Because I can assure you that, no matter how annoying you are and no matter how many times you call (and I realize that this may come as a surprise), I am not going to say Walla! We owe you money! and write you a check on the basis of some vague story about how you think we owe you money. Or even on the basis that this will make you go away. As tempting as that option may be at times.

And especially not, given your track record with misapplied payments.

And no, I am not going to spend half an hour sitting on the phone while you start going through your general ledger, mumbling to yourself, and trying to figure out what invoice is unpaid, as per your (crap) records. I will ask you to call me back, once you have a clue.

I thank you in advance for your consideration. Even though I know that, at some point, probably in the next half hour, you will call me AGAIN. And you still will not have any invoice numbers.

7 comments:

Daughter of Cancer said...

So what you're trying to say is...?

Gila said...

I think this is the type of post that make more sense to people who work in the finance department of a company....

Tzipporah said...

Or anyone who's read Back of the Hill...

RivkA with a capital A said...

I totally don't do finances and I LAUGHED OUT LOUD at this post!!

So... been there, done that!!

Mike said...

I'm probably wrong, but I think I'm seeing a pattern here. When Gilas' posts are sharp and cynical, she's actually feeling pretty good. When they are fluffy, and whimsical, she's actually a little down. Maybe?

Ben-Yehudah said...

B"H

I must say, I'm pretty intolerant of incompetence myself.

How do you do it?

I could really identify with this post.

WashingtonGardener said...

Walla? I think you mean: Voila :-) I'm picturing some Frenchies reaching thru the computer to pinch you.