Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Modest Vignette

Kat The Exercise Nazi and I got together tonight for our Torture Training* session. Each session includes a strength training workout and a cardio workout. The strength training bit is not too bad but the cardio portion is positively vile. The cardio workout looks something like this:

1) Walk five minutes (I actually like this part)

2) Run really, really fast for one minute

3) Die for two minutes.

4) Run really, really fast for one minute

4) Die for two minutes.

And more of the same, until the program decides it is done toying with you and allows you to stagger home.

Anyway, so Kat and I were in the middle of one of the dying bits when the buzzer on her stopwatch went off, indicating it was time to start running really, really fast. Instead of resetting her watch and running, Kat continued walking. Downhill.

Me: Ummm....isn't it time to run?

Kat: We are going to walk to the bus stop and start running from there.

Me: But the bus stop is further down the hill.

Kat: Yes.

Me: Which means we will have to run up the hill.

Kat: Yes! Last time, by the time we finished running the road had flattened out.

Me: And...there is something wrong with that?

Kat: Excuse me, Ms. Snackcident? How many rugellach ** did you end up eating the other day? Yes there is something wrong with that. Uphill!

Me: whinewhinewhine.

Kat: Stop whining. Think of Elmer.

Me: whinewhinewhine.

Kat: If you don't stop whining, I am going to scream "Think of Elmer's ass" really loud. (It should be noted that she did not say "Elmer". She said Elmer's name.)

Now that is a dirty trick. But I still stopped whining.

Note to self: must find exercise nazi who does not read blogs.

*The program is actually called "turbulence training". But I was speaking with my friend, Pnina, and she accidentally replaced the 'turbulence' with 'torture'. Somehow, inexplicably, the name stuck.

** I fought the rugellach. The rugellach won.


LittleBenny said...

Cardio is always the hard part for me because there is just wayyyy too much time to think of all the reasons to stop doing it. Strength training is nice, short and intense. Cardio is the real test!

On the flip side, I've been back at the gym for a good 2.5 months and I've managed to gain 4 pounds. WTF? It ain't all muscle, either. Looks like it's back to the low carb lifestyle. Sigh.


Anonymous said...

Just would like to let you know that Elmer's ass has made it to European offices.

Gila said...

Indeed? How is that? What European offices? And who is Elmer in your case?

RivkA with a capital A said...

grumble, grumble!

I am so impressed that you are still motivated!!!

wish I could say the same!