Monday, September 14, 2009

The Hike, Part III. At last.

After a short bus trip, we arrive at our next destination: a crater in the Golan. The guide has given us an explanation but I only sort of hear it. We all file out of the bus and walk to the crater. Look! A big cliff! With trees! Which, as it turns out, we are not going to visit because we have more important things to do.

Coaching. The type of activity best done one-on-one and over a long period of time. Now available in a generic, mass-produced, quickie version.

G-d, I admit it. I am going hiking on Shabbat. But still…your response…it is not a tad severe? The bit with the underwear was not enough?

Apparently not, because the Life Coach does not magically disappear in a puff of smoke. Instead, he starts to talk. The problem with us, he explains, is that we want stuff that is not good for us. We are attracted to one type of person, even though, if were to try to live with that person, it would probably end with both of us single, one of us six feet under and the other doing 40-to-life in a maximum security prison. THIS is the problem. THIS is why we are single! How does he know this? One—because he is the all-knowing life coach. Two—because that is HIS problem. And if that is his problem, well, obviously, that is mine as well.

Clearly, the next stage is to solve the problem. How to do this? We are to break up into groups of four—two men and two women. Each of us is supposed to share with the other members of the group 1) what type we are attacted to and 2) why this is bad. Umm….okay. Twenty sets of four nice, reasonably attractive people sit down. And each person manages to convince the others—in the space of a half hour—that he or she is completely fucked up, and not worth dating.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why anyone would feel that incorporating this type of activity into a singles event is even remotely appropriate. Meeting someone in this type of environment seems to me to be akin to meeting someone at your shrink’s office. Sure, everyone is fucked up, but do you really want to know just HOW fucked up before the first date? No! That is for date number four, at least.

Coaching has its place. Its place is not here.


Marks for the day:

Hike: A
Life Coach: F
Value for money: C

Suggestion: Ditch the self-help drivel and replace it with something fun that will encourage us to get to know each other without being too painfully obvious that this is what you are trying to do. Think-another hike, a visit to a druze village with tea and coffee or a breaking us up to do arts and crafts with random items we find on the ground.


Tali said...


First of all, I LOVE your writing :)

I completely agree with you - why on earth did they do that group thing instead of actually making you connect normally with one another? At least you learned some stuff about yourself (NOT the coacher's stupid things, but how you got the courage to take a hike with strangers, though that does NOT sound good), and now you'll be more willing to leave the house...
The singles hike seems like a great way to meet new people, I guess there are some other groups that do the same, without that horrible coaching...

Mongrel said...

Some time ago there was a piece in a paper about a group you would like, these people go every once and a while out to a restaurant, beach or hike.
Some new people join and some others go, some couples are formed and some people do choose to go just together with the group to have some fun.

Why not start something like this for yourself, the first two new members will be E.E. and Tali, the rest you will find on the net.

Ahuva said...

Wow.. That sounds truly horrendous. I'm so sorry!