Sunday, May 23, 2010

So THAT'S why she never sets me up

Conversation with my stepmother (who I love dearly, BUT...well, you will see)

Me: I went out with a friend today. She is a amazing photographer and took some shots of me. Once she sends them to me, I am going to give Jdate another try. Maybe this time I will actually score a date with a nice guy. [Read: decent, normal, interesting, intelligent, age appropriate, gainfully employed, attractive, not a what's-his-story or some other problematic variety of male, does not sport a combover or a bald-in-front-mullet-in-back hairstyle and so on and so forth].

Stepmother: Well, you will go out with a nice guy and then you will decide that there is something wrong with him.

Me: Umm...why do you think this? When have I done this? [Having heard this multiple times in the past I am curious as to why she has this impression of me. I mean, I get so few dates--it is not like I am flush with chances to dump nice guys].

Stepmother: Well, there was that lawyer. From Newark.

Me: [Baffled--lawyer? From Newark? No...she can't possibly mean X. But I have not dated any other lawyers. I guess she does.] You mean the one from Philadelphia?

Stepmother: Maybe it was Philadelphia.

Me: You mean the one I dated 20 years ago? When I was 20?

Stepmother: Oh, has it been 20 years?

Me: Even if I was picky and capricious in breaking up with him--which I wasn't--that was 20 years ago! And he did not want to date me anymore either.

Stepmother: Oh. Okay then.

And, for what it is worth--rather than wait with me for the AAA truck, this paragon of male virtues left me by myself in a parking lot late at night when it turned out my car battery was dead and I needed a charge. So...not so nice.


e.e. said...

Hi Gila,

Good luck with the males.
And about the one who dumped you in the parking lot - what a cholera!
Hmm, I'm reading "My Michael" by Amoz Oz now. The translator into English noted at the start of the novel that the term cholera used here does not mean an illness, but is a Polish curse.
Hehe, me likey...

RivkA with a capital A said...

what kind of a guy leaves a gal alone in a parking lot at any time of the day, kal vachomer late at night?????

J.P. said...

Gila, that is a nice picture of you.

A small step for ................

Rabbi Lars Shalom said...


RivkA with a capital A said...

Rabbi Lars Shalom -- "nope"?????

nope to what????