Saturday, December 13, 2008

Live blogging packing my apartment

***Update*** Could not help myself--I did some editing this morning....

7:15 For the life of me, I cannot pick up Galgalatz on my mini-stereo. I stream it through my computer instead. Thank G-d for the Net.

7:30 Packing my dairy dishes and loving, loving, LOVING this fucking fantabulous packing paper that Mona at Eliezer Movers sent me along with the approximately NIS 1 zillion in other packing supplies that I purchased. Packing dishes is so much faster. And the best part is that, if I get sick of packing, I can just sit down and use the paper to make oragami birds and stuff. That is, I could if I knew how to do oragami.

7:45 Beyonce "If I were a Boy". I loathe this song. And what is up with this "I am Sasha Fierce" nonsense? According to Wikipedia, Sasha Fierce is "the singer's sensual, aggressive alter ego ". What--when she is Sasha Fierce she appears on stage stark naked, as opposed to her usual half-naked attire?

Question for all of you .... Am I am the ONLY one who finds it rather disturbing that a father would conciously raise his daughter to be a sex symbol?

8:15: Scarlett Johansson "Falling Down". Another song I do not like. I do not care how gorgeous she is, and how well she acts (attn Kayla--these are movies I have actually seen !)...she cannot sing.

8:30: Danny Sanderson and Amy Winehouse in succession. Happy!!!!!! (Linked version of Don Quixote is not Danny Sanderson. It is a guy I know goofing off).

9:00: All of my wineglasses (my extensive collection of about 12) are those souvenier types that you get when you visit the Yarden winery. Does this mean that I am not a real grown-up? Or that I am holding on to my college years? I mean, I do not drink. Nor did I drink during my college years. So I see no point to invest in new ones. Of course, my guests do drink. Guests? Do you care?

Yay! Kobi Afflalo!

9:10: I have a giant thing of bubble wrap! All for myself! Pop pop pop pop pop pop....

Right. I am supposed to be packing.

9:24: Really pretty song from הכבש השישה העשר-שיר לשירה. (The Sixteenth Sheep--A song for Shira). A number of years ago, I was in a local production of this play. Though I did not get to sing this song. My part during the song was to go to sleep while cuddling a plastic lizard.

Really! A plastic gila monster! You can stick your finger in its mouth and pretend it is biting your finger off! Hours of entertainment! For me, anyway.

Sadly, the lizard was packed a few days ago, so I cannot play with it. Sigh....

Now--two random points that popped into my head.

1) I am officially labelling "real wine glasses" as "an item that I only want once I am married". Because, now that I have my lovely Kakadu hallah board and my lovely Kakadu napkin holder, I no longer have any reason married. So now I do. I need to get married so I can get real wine glasses. Preferably from Kakadu.

Of course, seeing how I will not use them myself, even if I am married, not really sure that this is going to serve as too much of an incentive to go back on Jdate. But, whatever. Desperate times and all that.

2) Actually being in plays (I have been in two) has pretty much cured me of any desire to do any more community theater. I spent most of the time comparing my (rather paltry) solo with those of the other actors (much more impressive--full songs) and feeling quite neglected. I am far better off singing Broadway tunes in my kitchen while I am cooking. That way, I get all the solos.

Suffice it to say that "humility" and "teamwork" may not be my strongest points.

9:50: One could argue that I am also lacking "talent".

After packing and unpacking and repacking them FIVE times, my glasses and wineglasses are sufficiently packed and padded and bubble-wrapped to my satisfaction. I am going to seal the box now so that I do not have a chance to become dissatisfied again.

Anal retentive people should simply not be made to pack breakables. It is just too painful to watch. There should be a law.

10:03: Fun factoid--I am not into candles. At all. Please do not buy me any. I will just regift them. Or give them to the poor, though why the hell they would want them is beyond me.

I am thinking about this because I am about to wrap up the one set of candles I do like--the ones in the shape of chocolates that Rachel gave me. Of course, I am not going to use them. I just like to look at them and smell them because they smell like chocolate.

Oh, and another good song. American Boy.

10:30: I hate moving. I hate packing. I hate boxes. I hate bubble wrap. I am going to sell everything and just become a hobo or, I don't know, find an hideously overpriced, tourist trap, completely furnished apartment.

10: 46 What am I thinking???? Of COURSE I do not hate bubble wrap! I will bring whatever is left --after wrapping each individual Yarden winery souvenier wineglass in twice its weight in bubble wrap--with me to the furnished apartment. I will sit on the bed, popping the wrap and crooning Broadway tunes to myself.

10:55 How the fuck did I end up with FOUR bottles of olive oil? And approximately 15 zillion bottles of vinegar?

11:05 Other random bubble-wrappable stuff: my olive oil collection, my vinegar collection, my wine collection, my two bottles of vodka, bottle of Sabra and bottle of brandy, my elegant but too-small-to-be-useful glass flower vase, mason jars purchased back when I went through a Martha-Stewart-make-your-own-pickles-stage and now used as big and useufl vases, my pretty glass plate purchased on Nachalat Binyamin and a framed photo of my mother, ז"ל (may her memory be blessed).

So, if I pack my mother in the same box as the booze, would that be disrespectful?

11:35 Do they even make VCR's anymore? I ask because I have five random videotapes, inlcuding a collection of music videos from ארוץ הילדים (the children's channel) and Tom & Debra Teach Lindy Hop I & II...and no way to watch them. (I also have no dance partner--everyone here does salsa, damn it). So, do I trash them or cart them off to the new place so that they can gather dust there?

Hmmm...guess I will take them. I really really love that ארוץ הילדים video.

I also have one DVD: My Fair Lady. A great singalong flick.

11:46 Did you know that NONE of the cool songs from my ערוץ הילדים video are on Youtube? Bastards.

12:25 Time to shower, change and go off to Sarah's for a nutritious lunch. It will be a welcome change, as my diet for the last two days has been comprised of cereal, coffee and various sugary baked goods. This is not to say that cereal is not a sugary baked good. It just pretends to be nutritious. The other stuff...well, it does not even make an effort to disguise itself as something that that might conceivably be good for you.

I bet Sarah's meal will include protein. And a vegetable. I am so excited!

17:45 I have eaten, eaten some more and napped. Time for the second shift.

19:15 My packing diet has now expanded to include Diet Sprite. After all, man does not live by cereal and sugary baked goods alone.

21:05 I am still packing. It is taking a long time. This has more to do with my compulsive tendencies--everything must fit JUST so and NO space may be wasted--than with the actual quantities of stuff I own.

What is playing?

Campy music

Followed by very non-campy music

Gotta love Galgalatz.


Anonymous said...

She might do herself a grear favour by playing Eros Ramazzotti's CD Musica É.
If we would be able to see Scarlett Johansson woken up, we all would wonder where this pilot's plane did crash.
Have to be honest, like the above person I do not have the faintest idea who Amy Whinehouse is.
Could anybody tell me what the contribution of these two babels is to a better world.

Asher said...


Amy Winehouse is a supremely talentd singer and writer (I don't like the term singer-songwriter) who wants to join the "27 club" but isn't old enough.
Shame as she is one of the best things to come out of Britain since Marc Bolan wrapped his mini round a tree on Hampstead Heath.
Check out Back to Black if you don't believe me.


I don't know about American Boy, but do remember American Girl the best thing that Tom Petty ever did?

TeacherLady said...

Bubble wrap has to be one of man's finest inventions. Packing AND tension relief? Perfect combination of uses. Of course if the tension exceeds the packing, you end up with lame wrapping plastic...

"I could have daaanced all niiight..." Oh cool coincidence, my daughter loves this old Kermit sketch from the Ed Sullivan show where he lip-synchs to "I've Grown Accustomed to [Your] Face" and we were singing along to it yesterday! (Not speaking it, ala Rex Harrison).

Good luck moving!

Anonymous said...

Within in time we might expect this Amy Winehouse to be the British answer to Joan Baez?

Anonymous said...

We hate some of the same songs! Haha - I wonder who has to hear them more on the radio...I'm guessing you do? Although Galgalatz probably makes up for it with other programming aspects :-P

Packing, moving, etc. - also forms of torture for me! Packing up my belongings to move out of my apartment at the end of school last year (and not having enough time to do it)? Disaster. So much so that an entire drawer-full of clothing, various toiletries, reading materials, cleaning supplies, and other random items were simply FORGOTTEN. LEFT BEHIND. And miraculously saved by the amazing janitorial staff :)

I daresay we can compete for worst packing and moving experiences...though I'm afraid you might win!

Hope the rest of the move goes well! Thanks for the entertainment!

Asher said...


Think Janis

Anonymous said...

Got it.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Just take issue with Point #2 at 9.24- If I remember correctly, you had some *very* cool, difficult and impressive solos in the show we were both involved with, I can't speak for the show you were in afterwards, but I felt ours was as "egal" as it could get, in the circumstances!

Baila said...

It sounds like you need to open up one of those bottles and indulge!

A Soldier's Mother said...

I think I'll be packing this summer...I can't imagine doing it...what a great idea - to blog through it...course, then I'll never get anything packed. Can't you just throw it all in and hope it comes out the other end? Bubble-wrap...yeah, that's one I have to remember. I was really funny the last time I packed - I write lists and lists of where I packed what in each box - this time, I'm throwing it all in. I have a bunch of wine glasses - real ones...and we never drink anything so maybe I COULD convince my husband to let me throw them, he'd never agree. And, if I let him do it, he'll do it glass at a time...I know, you have to do one at a time, right? I think I did three at a time moving to Israel, just sort of rolled them all around each other - I forgot how much I hate packing. Maybe I could leave it all here and just start all over? No...guess I'll be packing too...

Anonymous said...

When I was pregnant with my daughter I was more than slightly obsessed with the Shir LeShira song. I don't remember what triggered it, must of heard the song an Galgalatz and I actually found 9 different singers that recorded it.
So when she was born we called her Shiri.
I couldn't call her Shira because that name is taken in the family.

WashingtonGardener said...

I love singing along to My Fair Lady! Have to pull that out soon.

aliyah06 said...

But the fun is when you take the bubble wrap off, look at the object you haven't seen in a while, don't recall packing, and wonder what on earth you ever kept it for? (I have an entire mamad full of fun things like this--WHY did I pack a box of white chocolate?! I HATE white shouldn't even be considered chocolate, which is brown, not-too-sweet, preferably marir, and chock full of caffeine).

Anonymous said...

A dairy dish is used by people who do have an agricultural background?
What is the difference with "normal" ones?

x said...

'Question for all of you .... Am I am the ONLY one who finds it rather disturbing that a father would conciously raise his daughter to be a sex symbol?'

Yup...but if you really want to be distressed, you should check out Jessica Simpson's her father, enthusing over her bra size...

Packing can be therapeutic...especially when you can get someone else to do it for you!

Gila said...

A father enthusing over his daughter's bra size?

Oh, that is just wrong wrong wrong.

Wait, isn't she from a fundamentalist Christian family or something like that?

Even more disturbing....

x said...

I didn't know about the fundamentalist angle...dear me. Here's a link if you're interested -
(I should explain that I am ill in bed - no other excuse for googling this nonsense!)

By the way, I really like your blog.

RivkA with a capital A said...

"I have a giant thing of bubble wrap! All for myself! Pop pop pop pop pop pop...."

THIS is why we are friends!!