Saturday, June 11, 2011

Enhanced fish tanks

Let’s start with a conversation I had with Kayla at Terem while waiting to have blood tests done:

Me: Hey, they added a fish tank!

Kayla: Yes! It’s nice.

Me: Yeah, lots of fish. That brown one with the spots is funky looking.

Kayla: I think that is a catfish.

Me: Aaaaahhhhh.

Me: You know, they are not eating each other.

Kayla: What?

Me: The fish are not eating each other. Not even the brown one, though I know he wants to. I can see it. Wouldn’t it be so much more entertaining if they would?

Kayla: Well, then you would have just one big fish.

Me: Well, once you run out of fish, you could always toss in the odd poorly behaved child. Or random excess cats from the neighborhood.

Kayla: Yeah, I don’t think so.

Now, clearly, Kayla is wrong. The tank, it is nice, but where is the action here? I decided to go straight to the Terem top: Dr. No.

Me: Hey Dr. No! You know the fish tank you have in the Katamon branch?

Dr. No.: [Looks at me with suspicion.] Yes….

Me: You need to add some carnivorous fish.

Dr. No: Why?

Me: Because it is boring. [You would think that this would be obvious, but apparently not.]

I then proceed to explain the concept—the fish wars, the annoying children, the cats.

Dr. No: Somehow, I do not think that we can do that.

Between you and me, he wants to. He just is afraid of the potential liability if parents take advantage of the tank to get rid of the non-annoying children as well. Insurance rates would skyrocket. It is a business, must be prudent. I get it.

Just so you can see my vision….

Standard fish tank:

Enhanced fish tank:

You see? I was right about the brown fish!

You no, maybe Dr. No is right. Leave the standard fish tank out in the waiting room to lull the unsuspecting populace. Then put the enhanced fish tank in with the phlebotomists. To get them in the mood.

(P.S.--if you click on the picture, you can see it nice and big. My enhanced fish looks wonderful enlarged).


cba said...

So I understand how you can do geometric shapes in Excel, but how do you manage all those wonderful shadings and non-geometric shapes?

Gila said...

Rotating objects. Using several shapes and then grouping them and coloring them together. Adjusting points. A tiny bit of free form lines.

The coloring is relatively easy--excel allows for shading. So you pick the shading you want and then tweak the colors and the direction.

Katrinayellow said...

I especially like the slightly worried looks on the 2 small fish. given the way my darling, or not so darling child is behaving this morning, I might be in favour of your fish tank!

cba said...

Thanks for the info, Gila. I see fun with Excel in my future...

Tzipporah said...

I love your f-up up little brain. :)

vered said...

Oh dear! Thinking of you as of a highly sophisticated person, I assumed your story was about Israeli politics in the dog days.:-)