This morning I just missed a bus. I thought I was going to make it. I started to run to the bus stop, but no dice. By the time I made it to the stop, the bus had come and gone on without me.
Here are, in chronological order, the thoughts that went through my head:
Shit, I missed the bus!
Now I have to wait for the next bus!
Wow, if I had left the house a minute earlier, I would have made the bus.
Damn, damn, damn.
But you never know, that bus could blow up. And then, I would say that I escaped injury only because of that extra minute I spent surfing the net.
Or, perhaps the next bus will blow up. And I will die. And it will be only because of that extra minute I spent surfing the net.
Dumdedumdedum….
Man, but I do have some whacked-out thought patterns. I should put this on my blog.
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There are some who go through life with blinders on, blissfully oblivious to just how fragile their reality is. How their entire world can turn on a dime, or on an extra one minute spent surfing the net.
As for me, I am the opposite. I go through life with a freaking magnifying glass. It is amazing just how many random twists of fate you can find, if you just know where to look.
It used to scare me, a bit.
Now I am used to it.
Here are, in chronological order, the thoughts that went through my head:
Shit, I missed the bus!
Now I have to wait for the next bus!
Wow, if I had left the house a minute earlier, I would have made the bus.
Damn, damn, damn.
But you never know, that bus could blow up. And then, I would say that I escaped injury only because of that extra minute I spent surfing the net.
Or, perhaps the next bus will blow up. And I will die. And it will be only because of that extra minute I spent surfing the net.
Dumdedumdedum….
Man, but I do have some whacked-out thought patterns. I should put this on my blog.
*********************************************************************
There are some who go through life with blinders on, blissfully oblivious to just how fragile their reality is. How their entire world can turn on a dime, or on an extra one minute spent surfing the net.
As for me, I am the opposite. I go through life with a freaking magnifying glass. It is amazing just how many random twists of fate you can find, if you just know where to look.
It used to scare me, a bit.
Now I am used to it.
9 comments:
Dude, I think this way all the time, except my paranoid visions involve being squashed by a giant SUV rather than being blown up by terrorists.
Your paranoid visions are probably far more realistic. In fact, when you factor in Israeli drivers, they are waaaaaay more realistic.
Now I suppose I have to start obsessing about that too.
Me too. I think it's called catastrophizing."
But... given that both busses are equally likely to be blown up (at least, a priori), wouldn't you rather be on the one that's on time?
No, it doesn't make any more sense to me now than it did when I typed it.
I've been trying to brainwash myself, after mentally cursing out the drivers, that " a better bus/ride" will take me to my destination. As a "trampistit" I deal with this a lot. And sometimes a better ride, a great ride, an opportunity to be with someone I want to travel with really happens.
I do that too, or I sit in my car waiting for the trafic light trying to keep away from the buses.
It's even worse now that I have kids my in the car. I find myself thinking, is the bus going to blow up on my daughters side or on my sons side.
You should see how people in the North react to wistles of wind though a slightly open window, instictivly thinking it's a siren.
I always think there is a reason for everything--missing the bus, catching it or just plain staying at home.
Fate is fate is fate.
I started reading your blog this year. I just got back from a way-too-short visit to Israel-- my first in five years. I was at Machane Yehuda on Friday afternoon. I didn't realize till I was "on the ground" that because of "My Shrapnel," Israel, Jerusalem, and Machane Yehuda can never be the same for me. Thank you for your insights, courage, and humor.
Wow--good to know that I am not alone in my insanity. We are all insane together! :)
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